ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm at about main and main street
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
