I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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