i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
