Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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