I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
