that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
