I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
