Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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