i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
