I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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