remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
