if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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