Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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