Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
