Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
