I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
