what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You left your phone here
Wait...
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