I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
