i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
