He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize