please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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