My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Every concussion has its silver lining
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
