i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
