toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
