He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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