And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
