If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
