Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
