Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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