doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
