I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
