I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize