that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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