Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
