Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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