we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
