i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
