My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
