party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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