bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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