I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the day after is always just damage control
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
