The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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