That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
