So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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