the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
