im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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