I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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