I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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