I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize