a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
