You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize