True but thats because hes a fetus.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
