you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
