do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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