Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
