i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
