There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
