Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize