Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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