New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
