i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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