i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
